Thursday, January 19, 2012

Freakout (the First Major One)

The first curveball showed up today, right as I got home from work. It turns out that if we book this venue we've been looking at, not only can we NOT do a midday wedding, we can't start anything in the building until at least 7PM.

Wait, what?

I tried to stay calm, but the freakout escalated very quickly. One moment I was freaked out because this wonderful, ideal wedding spot wasn't working out and my one-and-done approach was in ruins, the next moment I passed through the territory of it's-all-going-to-fall-apart-and-maybe-we-should-just-elope, and then I was off (off!) into the land of why-does-any-of-it-matter-anyway-because-I-suck-at-throwing-parties-and-no-one-will-want-to-come.

So, that was exciting.

The fact of it is, no matter how hard you work to separate yourself from perceived norms, those norms are still there, lurking, in your head. There are only so many layers of stress the human mind can take before it begins to freak out, and there's a layer of stress that comes with expectations. In fact, double that - because you're dealing with your expectations, and other people's expectations as well (both real and perceived). Add to that the fact that weddings are a huge event that could be described as a turning point, a rite of passage, or a major life change, and you have three layers of stress.

I don't know about any of the rest of you, but when I'm stressed it helps me to make lists, isolate things into discrete parts and figure them out. (Divide and conquer?) However, the sheer amount of lists and details inherent in wedding planning can really be overwhelming. Very overwhelming. And then the lists don't help as much as you hope they will.

So, let's go back to an earlier post where I blithely assumed that I would just roll with the punches and adapt my wedding to what came up, because it's totally that simple. As naive as my assumptions were, however, there was a definite grain of wisdom in them:

Your wedding will not turn out the way you plan it.
Things will come up.
Curveballs will get thrown.
It is all going to be okay anyway.


  1. Wow. That is indeed a major freakout! I'm so sorry to hear that. Maybe you could decorate the night before?

    I hope that whatever the solution, the problem resolves itself sooner rather than later!

  2. I'm so sorry! Hopefully you'll be able to sort it out. I haven't had any major freak outs yet, but I'm sure they'll come... right now I'm completely annoyed at tablecloth prices (both renting and buying!!)

    1. Oh, I hear you on the tablecloth prices - I was deeply sad to discover that buying the cloth per yard and hemming my own would be MORE expensive than renting!

      There are a lot of options, though - plastic ones that look quite real, for instance. Also, my MoH and I discussed collecting a whole bunch of burlap sacks from a nearby cafe (they give the coffee sacks away free), hemming those, and then covering the top in butcher paper (so as not to be scratch) - awesome rustic feel!