tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67676113538672084532024-02-07T19:24:44.534-08:00A Simply Elegant WeddingPAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-92198411349527553872012-02-07T13:28:00.000-08:002012-02-07T13:30:34.056-08:00Minnesota Chic!Hello, lovelies!<br /><br />From here on out, all posts will be shifting to <a href="http://minnesota-chic.com/">Minnesota Chic</a>, which will allow me to keep blogging on the same account after I am married (without feeling weird about my username). Check it out!PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-73392023726030245982012-01-31T11:06:00.000-08:002012-01-31T11:07:53.643-08:00It's What You Make Of It ...<div align="center"><strong>Perception:</strong> We keep running into road-blocks and snags.<br /><strong>Reality</strong> (according to people who have planned weddings): This is actually going fairly smoothly.<br /><strong>Truth:</strong> Wedding planning is like everything else – it is how you choose to approach it, and what you choose to make of it.</div><br /><div align="left"><br />Here’s the thing: it’s not so hard to plan a budget wedding. It really isn’t! I am planning a wedding with a budget that made friends (good friends) laugh in my face, a wedding that I worried would, no matter what I said, not be elegant or classy. I worried that it would end up looking like junior prom with streamers and balloons, that the appetizers would be awful and the guests would hate every second of it.</div><br /><div align="left"><br />When the first venue was not what I hoped it would be, C (my Maid of Honor) and I launched into floor plans and brainstorming, we found all sorts of ways to make it an amazing reception. I truly think it would have been a good time for everyone. But when it happened that the first venue did not work out at all, we rolled with that punch, too – again, C and I started brainstorming, and my fiancé and I also brainstormed, coming to the conclusion that what we really wanted was a series of smaller, more intimate parties.</div><br /><div align="left"><br />We found another venue, and this one did not work, either – the prix fixe menu started at $45, before tax, before drinks, before gratuity. I was bummed. I crunched numbers. Then, at the perfect time, our favorite date-night restaurant in the area responded to my email to let me know they could offer us something within our budget. Another restaurant, swanky in the extreme, turned out to have really affordable brunch (and who doesn’t love brunch? Mmm, eggs benedict!).</div><br /><div align="left"><br />We were left trying to find someplace for the wedding itself, but within three days I had managed to find an historic mansion that would host the wedding for half the price of a church. (Yes, most mansions and beautiful homes will only agree to host the wedding if you’re also bringing the catering/reception dollars, and some will charge you outrageous fees – but the point here is, it never hurts to ask.)</div><br /><div align="left"><br />At this point, at most, we are looking at</div><br /><div align="center"><br /><em>$2800(food)+$1200(photography)+400(venue)+165(cupcakes or cake) = $4565</em></div><br /><div align="left"><br />Yes, we have to factor in my dress, and a hotel room the night before, and gifts for the wedding party. This puts us over $5000 by a smidge. BUT … at lowest, we are looking at:</div><br /><div align="center"><br /><em>$2100(food)+$900(photography)+150(venue)+165(cupcakes or cake) = $3315</em></div><br /><div align="left"><br />…and that, my friends, is quite fine.<br /><br />Questions? Thoughts? Leave a comment!</div>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-87821526450138572982012-01-31T07:04:00.000-08:002012-01-31T07:17:33.545-08:00Eye Candy: Cake AlternativesThe cake is a fairly iconic piece of the traditional wedding. In fact, in this era of ballooning wedding costs and complexity, the cake is one of the <em>only</em> pieces that is actually traditional. (White dress? Church? Sit-down dinner? Bridesmaids? Bouquet? Nope.)<br /><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div><br /><br /><div>But does that mean you need a cake? Absolutely not. If you're staring, horror-struck, at a piece of paper telling you that tier cake is $3.75/guest, or you're feeling overwhelmed after trying 53 varieties of chocolate cake, or if you just don't <em>like</em> cake - whatever your reason, you absolutely do not need to have a cake.<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div>And so, without further ado, I present you with an eye candy buffet of alternatives! There are actual candy buffets...<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703813510281293954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 249px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FWHyIshE3KWKKO_vethuK-TtEAD7OUgBx32ERHjcpuNhlVHRnRAvb0ziPhXpeFqj6xh4cx6T05PxCNiJmUpY8bTGQggzWwvfZm5NlgyL-S04OjEMM-DFf88jhSHx-pFfVHGAyakzKL8/s320/Candy+Bar+2.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703813505759094418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 244px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDhQSRDE2Em_kWQXBcFooYl5hsH0vlURzCtLYJ7ySIQwNZLSurinbnb1SbyxDxxXAJyF91rdwpDBGbOjKRuciJWtU0towyQgDfn6L7Bq4P5Zvud_y8TqvL0hTJz6aWJ9AG8XRPV_DdnvY/s320/Candy+Bar+1.jpg" border="0" />Cookie buffets ... (for an adult twist, have Bailey's and Kahlua out for those glasses of milk)<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703813508517806850" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipoh8S8z2MLrBzZy9AXT_vyZFAnzaOiei7Pbp_w_Xf9Ng2Lz-cqFtV2Xqc3sTUU5kMiubkOdcgpyx_NXBCH_C5wNuCAUR7mvs7Q_7PCFYyHmrz98mwfqrxiFQRgafe1YKVWiAFQK2pAmA/s320/Cookie+Bar+1.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703813512021428962" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpokoHiIzTTs5fr8_UNGJIAZ8vGDcTw83-tMdljWhuGoTO-0jn3bBcFZGeMF3ZYq6JZ6ukslBh0dC14uAR1EsA-ykVt7hHDxP73A2bWpefAI_tzVHen_Vyux4xJi8t5AXFnZV14GX8yCk/s320/Cookie+Bar+2.jpg" border="0" />There are also all-purpose dessert bars, for when you just can't choose ...</div><br /><br /><br /><div><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703814428356347074" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 319px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR4rifIcxJD9pN0aHsddz-_Ew4YTALBAvMaFij4czRmQzsQYg6TV3S5jU-Ii-kAczXktmPW5J4T_LYdwxzoIgqEX6MXwVk1BhpH_H13y9iuvmkdCIP8LqjpDUKkrKU4S2yuXAwsHPpmac/s320/Dessert+Bar+1.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703814432279325762" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqs1CFigfPFs5kc4IaQilNYoU0Ytk5zTQ9fzgY9zIsg7i0aLimI2y_mJ4snAJp34P5u6Y3EJTnn8O1-c5W3AlJbw6oetvK0RKt9GeXS7sEkotSSDPoJS48H8pUMoQ0FeRwVxNYwSoJaD4/s320/Dessert+Bar+3.jpg" border="0" />There are pie buffets...</div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703814438680699730" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 256px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiZuKKQ8qNVIxYAfYXg8hbPG_4rYhU_v7eDIyuBbcZnZxLGC_kQTzkwMKSTtltzkMPuGL_24LCUFaNtEhTaUMAUe-tJXkEvL7VcFsngRC76xBM02wmkarBULMhryUEyBXuqnTmC5cxmOk/s320/Pie+Bar+2.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703814433816863666" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI8VQD7_lfvaWqhZ1jY2yzvwEzwhe7OTDHOq7IDFnjvVT2rTaXzawVF6MHzMHf34VoJwmkQ1rzoN1RY4gyJusv0_jjosJy92euWIGz4hXxL69Y9oZREtzdAw_xjtxO9xIa6Dc0B3I4T7I/s320/Pie+Bar+1.jpg" border="0" /><br />And for a retro (and wonderful!) twist, there are Sundae bars!</div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703814444638271426" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiexRFXbpzCmZkeB-3M1ZijxPzoPVNBIqlcVsLjftstABYRmpHeQTJWvPYdZusvrJ3F58gz9NPL535tNvk7DJLSqSDbKuYsjvFT9oSwZWS8MV_T03MUqxMoR_Zn9aUmIkgRdaSRW4VBHY4/s320/Sundae+Bar+2.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div>Questions? Thoughts? Pictures of your own alternative dessert? Leave a comment!</div></div></div></div>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-53526676173330347412012-01-25T06:34:00.000-08:002012-01-25T07:58:24.993-08:00Oops: The Things I Didn't Think I'd Have to Worry AboutWhen one abruptly about-faces and ponders a different strategy for a wedding reception, details start to creep out of the woodwork. With an appetizers-and-sweets reception, I did not need to worry about seating charts. Or placecards. Or centerpieces. Or menus.<br /><br />Suddenly, all those things I pinned to pinterest with, "Well, we aren't doing ___, but wouldn't this be lovely if we did?" are things that are actually quite relevant. Do we want place cards? Do we want just to give people table numbers? What should the place cards look like? (Luckily, it looks like I can find quite respectable-looking place cards online at $4 for a pack of 60 - that's far better than I was expecting!)<br /><br />Then, seating charts! My thought is to have people in "pairs" at tables, but a group that can mix well - i.e., two of the groomsmen who may not know each other well but who can strike up a conversation, two cousins, two family from one side, two from another? It's best to try to mix people, yes? Or is it better to separate the families out? I don't know these things!<br /><br />And then, menu - I think it would be best to send the menu to people ahead of time so they can choose their menu option, and then perhaps just print a menu board and put that by the gift table, or at the entrance to the room. It seems silly to print menus for everyone if they already know what they'll be eating (although it does look quite nice folded into the napkin!).<br /><br />In short, new and exciting diversions! What are your thoughts?PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-34576856330089882152012-01-23T06:57:00.000-08:002012-01-23T08:50:52.070-08:00Planning: And Now For Something Completely DifferentWell, after my exciting little melt-down last week, we've started brainstorming for other ways to do this. Because in the end what we need is the officiant, the witnesses, and the two of us!<br /><br />I forget how it even came up, but one of us said something like, "if only we had a really tiny guest list, we could do something like rent [neighborhood cafe] and give everyone a super amazing meal." And then we both stopped, looked at each other, and went, "Ohhhhhhh...."<br /><br />It seemed like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. A tiny wedding! What was my emotion when people said, "well, there were only 30 people at our wedding"? Envy. That was my emotion. A reception intimate enough that we could give toasts without a microphone, laugh together, spend meaningful time with everyone... That would be nice. REALLY nice.<br /><br />And, because this IS a budget blog? Let's look at a budget breakdown.<br /><br />Say we now only need brief use of a chapel, and we want to keep our food budget to $3000, INCLUDING sales tax (6.875%) and 15% gratuity. Assume 50 guests (rounding up), and say:<br /><br />$3000 = 50X(1.06875) + 50X(.20) = 63.4375X, X = $47.29<br /><br />This means we could arrange a pretty amazing prix-fixe menu and arrange for a couple or three glasses of wine apiece!<br /><br />Stay tuned!PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-10048385957078833912012-01-19T16:22:00.001-08:002012-01-19T16:37:16.187-08:00Freakout (the First Major One)The first curveball showed up today, right as I got home from work. It turns out that if we book this venue we've been looking at, not only can we NOT do a midday wedding, we can't start <span style="font-style: italic;">anything </span>in the building until at least 7PM.<br /><br />Wait, what?<br /><br />I tried to stay calm, but the freakout escalated very quickly. One moment I was freaked out because this wonderful, ideal wedding spot wasn't working out and my one-and-done approach was in ruins, the next moment I passed through the territory of it's-all-going-to-fall-apart-and-maybe-we-should-just-elope, and then I was off (off!) into the land of why-does-any-of-it-matter-anyway-because-I-suck-at-throwing-parties-and-no-one-will-want-to-come.<br /><br />So, that was exciting.<br /><br />The fact of it is, no matter how hard you work to separate yourself from perceived norms, those norms are still there, lurking, in your head. There are only so many layers of stress the human mind can take before it begins to freak out, and there's a layer of stress that comes with expectations. In fact, double that - because you're dealing with your expectations, and other people's expectations as well (both real and perceived). Add to that the fact that weddings are a huge event that could be described as a turning point, a rite of passage, or a major life change, and you have three layers of stress.<br /><br />I don't know about any of the rest of you, but when I'm stressed it helps me to make lists, isolate things into discrete parts and figure them out. (Divide and conquer?) However, the sheer amount of lists and details inherent in wedding planning can really be overwhelming. Very overwhelming. And then the lists don't help as much as you hope they will.<br /><br />So, let's go back to an earlier post where I blithely assumed that I would just roll with the punches and adapt my wedding to what came up, because it's <span style="font-style: italic;">totally</span> that simple. As naive as my assumptions were, however, there was a definite grain of wisdom in them:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Your wedding will not turn out the way you plan it.<br />Things will come up.<br />Curveballs will get thrown.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">It is all going to be okay anyway.</span><br /></div>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-51801947147019828512012-01-18T07:16:00.000-08:002012-01-18T10:28:02.319-08:00Reception Ideas - Appetizer ReceptionSo, as we discussed earlier, our choice of venue has created some changes in our reception structure. There is not enough space for everyone to sit at once to eat, which means that refreshments should, ideally, be things that can be eaten while standing up. Our soup-and-lasagna buffet now seems...unsporting.<br /><br />So! We are shifting more towards the salad-and-sandwich end of the spectrum OR appetizers, and now the questions are:<br /><br /><ul><br /><li>How to do that?</li><br /><li>How much food do we need?</li></ul><br /><p>First, <strong>how do we do this</strong>? Well, we are hoping to steal an idea from Meg Keene over at APW and borrow the Jewish tradition of yichud - basically, the bride and groom take 15 minutes <em>alone</em> after the ceremony to be together and reflect on everything. (In less elegant terms, "Holy crap, we just got <em>married</em>!")</p><br /><p>So after the ceremony, we will process out through the sabre arch, and then my fiance and I will duck down a side aisle and go off on our own for a few minutes. After that, a few posed shots with family and wedding party, and then we will congregate in one of the two rooms for toasts and cake-cutting. People can have hot chocolate, punch, and desserts in the parlor room, where there will be music, or they can go out to the Narthex and eat at the tables, perhaps playing board games (Scrabble, Clue, Parchesi ... come on, that would be fun!).</p><br /><p>And <strong>how much food do we need</strong>? That depends on whether we want sandwiches or appetizers!</p><br /><p>For appetizers, conventional wisdom says to expect people to have 4-5 apiece, and more if there are several kinds of appetizers. If we say 7 apiece, we're at about 100 appetizers. This would be a good place to bemoan the fact that almost every catering menu I have come across switches units across the menu, "feeds 15-20" in parts, and then in other parts, "priced per piece," or, "$35.99 for two dozen." Makes it difficult to estimate things!</p><br /><p>Nevertheless, I've whipped together a few sample menus:</p><br /><ul><br /><li>Two bruschetta baskets (25-30 people) at $32.99, three Spinach-Artichoke baskets (with bread, serves 20-25) at $39.99, two fresh vegetable platters at $39.99, two fruit platters at $69.99 apiece (holy cow!), two apple-cranberry brie-en-croute at $46.99, two meat-and-cheese snack platters ($64.99) plus three cracker baskets ($12.99), and 60 cocktail meatballs at $23.99. <strong>This adds up to $652.84.</strong></li><br /><li>4 orders of 50 wings at $39.99 apiece, 2 antipasto tasting platters at $59.95, 3 EACH of Pancetta-and-green-onion and spinach-artichoke-and-feta dips at $29.95, 4 orders of sliced fresh fruit at $39.99 apiece, and 4 orders of caprese salad at $47.95. <strong>This adds up to $811.32.</strong></li></ul><br /><p>Thoughts? Is this adequate for 100 people?</p><br /><p></p>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-26496563794369168582012-01-18T07:14:00.000-08:002012-01-18T07:16:29.367-08:00Cross-Post!I am absolutely thrilled to say that a post I wrote ran on APW today. For those of you who aren't familiar with APW, I <em>highly</em> recommend that you check it out - it's full of independent-thinking couples and down-to-earth advice.<br /><br />Without further ado:<br /><br /><a href="http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/wedding-planning-with-a-deployed-fiance/">Sweet Moments During Deployments: Planning a Wedding Over Skype</a>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-67402108939180768492012-01-13T07:27:00.000-08:002012-01-13T09:47:02.423-08:00Picture Post: Bridesmaid Attire<div><br /><div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivKKkBN_OGvez7t8ybiqwDs0qleSqmh4LCl69TzOHhF6pQ1p6Pq1qi1IDXoQ-Ovu16Xem4dCSnadRvwltAj_yFx8OLafZt8F4JfNvZaeO_DPolltbS4EgJuIgYDTj0XlMcEDB0OCRVqCo/s1600/fall-wedding-ideas-fall-bouquet-2_s600x600.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697172745509372946" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 215px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivKKkBN_OGvez7t8ybiqwDs0qleSqmh4LCl69TzOHhF6pQ1p6Pq1qi1IDXoQ-Ovu16Xem4dCSnadRvwltAj_yFx8OLafZt8F4JfNvZaeO_DPolltbS4EgJuIgYDTj0XlMcEDB0OCRVqCo/s320/fall-wedding-ideas-fall-bouquet-2_s600x600.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>Mmm, delicious fall colors. We're overdue for a picture post, and the concept of bridesmaid attire fits nicely with the general budget them. I've had a lot of friends over the past couple of years who have accrued significant credit card debt from being a part of the wedding part: hair, makeup, manicure, pedicure, bridesmaid dress, bridesmaid shoes, bachelorette party, bachelorette party GIFT, wedding gift, travel costs, hotel costs ... </div><br /><br /><div>...I can't do that to my friends. I'm trying to make my peace with the fact that most of them live out of town and they can't avoid travel costs, and I'm trying to set them up to stay with in-town friends. But the shoes, the dress, the hair, the makeup, the endless cosmetic costs? I can't do that.</div><br /><br /><div>As much as I know, intellectually, that it will be fine if I don't do all of that stuff, there is still the idea that I'd rather have the whole thing look relatively cohesive, and two bridesmaids in black, one in lime green, and another in aqua would look just plain ODD. J, a close friend (and bridesmaid) helped me brainstorm last night.</div><br /><br /><div>I had been thinking of asking the bridesmaids to choose a knee-length dress in a fall color - warm browns, pumpkin, golds and yellows, bittersweet, that sort of thing. In my head, it was going to look something like this, only with delightfully, exquisitely mis-matched, indie-chic dresses.</div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697172389396296194" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Ila9kqPLfXioG8yduy9QqUFrO4AudAJy0GUwsJV1Ts3sz0rLS6jV1H5IdiEONBsy4Ilr9Lf8j6a-qGp0OH9wNWjyFCZrnPfpCVoR_L3iUnQ6pDe2w9tcB5TZsMrk9iz7ezyebt59ZFo/s320/orange-3-300x300.jpg" border="0" /> </div><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697173258850335858" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdRfZvahkQ7egPVHmDMogzrC4j2oz_mBJMBWZYNqEVb3BT-18JsQ98DXSs5In3KL8HMZ5LVo5YePSJkwYuoaPDvfWfKoJjq9kRI27eVQynqF6rCT1v7dRVbh3N0GTM_t9IXw6j6QoAo-Y/s320/12.jpg" border="0" /> J pointed out that this would be really, really hard to make work without people clashing, and that those colors aren't very commonly sold, anyway - so if I wanted things to be easiest on the bridesmaids, that might not do the trick. I'm still a bit sad to say goodbye to the fall assortment, but I don't want people to stress themselves silly over colors, either.<br /><br /><br /><div><br /><div>As much as I don't want to choose wedding colors (more on that later), we already have some by default - an off-white/cream (my dress), and dark blue (the dress blues). Half of the groomsmen will be in dress blues, and half in tuxes, so it's not like we'll have varied dresses on one side of the aisle and military snazziness on the other.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>And these colors will be the key. We've tentatively decided to go with dark blue, which will stand out nicely against the fall decor at the reception AND go nicely with the groomsmen. So more of this sort of a vibe:<br /></div><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697173263348093394" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXNO-5BhniHRUpgIEteMjhr4lu-4w_2wwXjhDFpX3NsHyslgrhTirsaeQrcsvN2pfrhnNo6YAlyXKVQ2smOgRyenR_tH4rSTrL5QtgROAYFV3AC6eYHaoH7269xh86HN_Fq0Snvcmt9gE/s320/blue-bridesmaid-dress1.jpg" border="0" /></div></div></div></div><br /><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697173900406670882" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 310px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy1M_GGRN4hJrBIYxzy0krUJtz_eWNpXQwlE_gRnJIT944UJ-6k9rzrb46qEkukmiOOt7Upej3Hv7vPABG649zy_gbzrvs5DKtiyG94z564tfsskfbaV8GhgGz_T6Zty-8xccVPkoIM58/s320/untitled.bmp" border="0" /></p><br /><p>And that's just lovely! So, so lovely.</p><br /><p>Thoughts? Objections? Advice? Leave a comment!</p>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-20318633532494513672012-01-12T06:11:00.000-08:002012-01-12T07:40:25.659-08:00Reflections: Slowing Down<div align="left">My mother sent me an e-card today, and as I’ve been working, her message has been rattling around in my head:<br /><br /></div><br /><div align="center"><em>Your life is changing so fast.</em><br /></div><br /><div align="center"><em>Take time to enjoy the journay</em></div><br /><div align="center"><em>and to savor each simple step.</em></div><br /><div align="left"><br />I don’t, as a rule, move slowly. Generally, I’m pushing towards something, and if I don’t have anything to push towards, I tend to get stressed. It doesn’t matter if the respite has been going on for a week or for 20 minutes, I get afraid that I am stagnating and will make nothing of myself. At this point, I usually find something to push towards, be it creative writing or working out; I make up a goal, and an action plan, and this soothes my little inner work demon.<br /><br />The demon has been relatively quiet lately because I have plenty of things going on. I have enough presence of mind to know that wedding planning is a huge goal and decision fatigue will set in if I go too deep or try to do too many things at once, and my drive to Avoid All That Bullsh*t has managed to make peace with my If You Don’t Work On Something You’re A Failure demon, thus leaving me with (a) a goal, and (b) a somewhat reasonable to-do list.<br /><br />But my mother is absolutely, unequivocally, correct. I don’t want to go into too much backstory, but the short version is this:<br /><br />I moved away from all of my family when I came to college (that’s just how it happened, no tragic tale there), built a surrogate family sort of community here, and ended up staying after college, because I found a job here and I think we can all agree that, in this economy, jobs with benefits are Good. The job hasn’t been in my preferred industry, so in the meantime I have run another blog of economic research on my industry of choice, written a YA fantasy novel and started two other novels, gotten my second-degree black belt, managed to get a promotion every year, applied to graduate school, launched a long-term fitness plan (which was been going pretty well, actually!), and started planning a wedding. (You see? I wasn’t kidding about my demon.)<br /><br />There has been almost no time in the past 6-7 years when there was not a major stressor in my life. Some of these stressors are good (new job! Wedding planning! I broke concrete with my hand!), but that doesn’t make them NOT stressful. Somewhere in there, I have gotten accustomed to the stress level, and I am actually scared of what will happen if I try to take my mother’s advice.<br /><br />(This got a bit more introspective than I was planning.)<br /><br />The point is, however scary it is, that she is correct. If you’re reading this, you’re probably planning a wedding as well, and (like me) you are focused on the goal: you want to have a wonderful wedding that celebrates you, and have an awesome marriage, too!<br /><br />But you aren’t there right now. Right now you’re HERE. You’re engaged (or pre-engaged, or just in a good relationship, or maybe you’re not in a relationship at all, and are daydreaming of the future), and you’re planning a massive, emotionally-charged event that is going to be the catalyst for a huge change in your life. So, take a deep breath. The future is going to be wonderful, but take a moment to take care of yourself right now. Go get some coffee – not because you need coffee, because you’re sleep-deprived, but because you’ll enjoy getting up and moving about, and the coffee will taste good and warm you up and make you smile.<br /><br />Oh, and just in case you’re not in a smiling mood, I present to you this ad for “A Practical Wedding,” both book and blog, which is a wonderful, WONDERFUL place, full of sound advice and laughter: </div><br /><br /><div align="left"><br /></div><a href="http://apracticalwedding.com/"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696770557139857794" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg56E96KQWyjJO6Ss8pTYwcCQiuePnCk3htpJXxlVa1Lls27UOrpEEKu0Ppf8ktm588TjmEtUBzz-yK1eb9lmnNKGGkpPF0YyeOYCPhjb1AJ00JeDFjZWVyB0NvZvIaGxkrygQfWbJ90sw/s320/Countdown-RotatingSidebar_1.jpg" border="0" /></a>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-90673578410711614692012-01-11T08:32:00.001-08:002012-01-11T08:49:33.076-08:00Design: The DecorationsSo, C and I did a walk-through of a church last night. It was the first church, but we both fell in love with it, and when he saw the pictures, my fiance did as well! It fits nicely within our budget, and it's not exactly what I was looking for - which concept I am trying to embrace (more on that later).<br /><br />The sanctuary itself is huge - really! It seats 1200 at maximum capacity, and we'll have less than 10% of that number for guests. Although the space is gigantic, it is also <em>warm</em> - warm-colored wood, warmer colors of stone on the walls, red pew cushions. An inviting space. It also allows us to use the back half of the aisle for a sabre-arch, as we will not be exiting the church between service and reception, and for a receiving line.<br /><br />The reception space is not what I had dreamed: a big room with space for buffets, seating, and dancing. Instead, it's a parlor that can easily hold 100 standing, but not seated, and a narthex outside the sanctuary. Two very distinct spaces. But this is where it gets interesting, and we can start to do some real brainstorming.<br /><br />We were already planning not to do a sit-down dinner, and now we really don't have the space to do so at all. So any pretensions of doing that are out, unless we want both spaces set up for dinner, and then have the tables moved. It's an option, but another is to have desserts and dancing in one room, and food and gifts table in another, allowing people to dance, mingle, eat, and rest as they wish (while my fiance and I drift this way and that, trying to say hello to everyone).<br /><br />Exactly what I was looking for? No. Insurmountable problem? Also no. (Although we may want to move from soup-and-salad to pasta-and-salad or sandwiches-and-salad, so people can bring their food with them as they drift about.) I think part of what I'm really enjoying is that, when I'm open to what comes along, a lot of decisions get made FOR me. For those of you planning weddings, you probably know just why that would be helpful. For those who are not planning yet, simply let me say that a lot of decisions need to get made, and it can drive a person bonkers.<br /><br />So, I encourage you - instead of looking for a space that's exactly what you imagined, be open to find a space that really speaks to you. It may cause some shuffling in your plans, but it will also spark creativity and a decision-making ease: in itself, it shows you that many different choices can be equally good, rewarding, and fun! C and I are now doodling furiously on drawings of the two rooms, trying to figure out how to arrange drapes, lights, lanterns, flowers ... and it's really, REALLY fun.<br /><br />(Like everything else I'm writing about, pictures are absent at the moment. More will appear closer to the wedding, and yet more will appear after.)<br /><br />Thoughts? Objections? Comments? Stories? Leave a comment!PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-90865992588231666002012-01-06T10:15:00.000-08:002012-01-06T10:45:01.902-08:00Hot Chocolate Bar!I love (LOVE) the idea of a hot chocolate bar. And with pictures like the following, who could blame me?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3401XmX7iiGrnlZnKV4fz2YMgEyA1JP57xlTvol06-HAiCYMcQ6vllHxqXNguqquYskwCgr72fs2PNqiigDc8gYTA1NcAKNBhyphenhyphenEZ1cSUfWc2Qt3K2VwOpomi3vUXk-ACt4qwSt6Pt_z4/s1600/hot+chocolate+bar+5.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694585709086153602" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 242px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3401XmX7iiGrnlZnKV4fz2YMgEyA1JP57xlTvol06-HAiCYMcQ6vllHxqXNguqquYskwCgr72fs2PNqiigDc8gYTA1NcAKNBhyphenhyphenEZ1cSUfWc2Qt3K2VwOpomi3vUXk-ACt4qwSt6Pt_z4/s320/hot+chocolate+bar+5.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694585704440403730" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 231px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirFuPy3p5mm_cHKK8STCANKoQ3AZaXzV0RzyivQdbTMlciNktqetvWsAD53hHUWLwYAKKYYk8EuDsdOy5w21uXH6aEkhlxesjbXWmlI0MJVNOD90yyHvetTf5rVs0Ol9bkUebbwjVO_Aw/s320/hot+chocolate+bar+4.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMR4wTGbnzVmx_Yuk-3bZ0ZIVEOon15lelJJo8jcLW_a2tboqOcvTtjzcT5b6Pxp0XzfB2l6Td5zkA2P30q_VCqLmMPA1JQXjf7npcLGwOLUZNzivvxIKbevCA4aVedXe0iYcb-njh_bY/s1600/hot+chocolate+bar+3.png"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694585695533820658" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 164px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMR4wTGbnzVmx_Yuk-3bZ0ZIVEOon15lelJJo8jcLW_a2tboqOcvTtjzcT5b6Pxp0XzfB2l6Td5zkA2P30q_VCqLmMPA1JQXjf7npcLGwOLUZNzivvxIKbevCA4aVedXe0iYcb-njh_bY/s320/hot+chocolate+bar+3.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGqSlGgpmxXhn9ej2nexJDrepioMa_RNzgyojzSx2pae79lhD1UUquAtDLz9okrc296PPyv1PVeJHGgyhr00px4MkUfQxR81WsvAwjKPV3ubNVGHPb5TTUdqCyr8qsX4qUGBMOW-8Z3mw/s1600/hot+chocolate+bar+1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694585690411141554" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 274px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGqSlGgpmxXhn9ej2nexJDrepioMa_RNzgyojzSx2pae79lhD1UUquAtDLz9okrc296PPyv1PVeJHGgyhr00px4MkUfQxR81WsvAwjKPV3ubNVGHPb5TTUdqCyr8qsX4qUGBMOW-8Z3mw/s320/hot+chocolate+bar+1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />I'm looking at the following for toppings:</div><br /><br /><ul><br /><br /><li>whipped cream</li><br /><br /><li>sprinkles</li><br /><br /><li>marshmallows</li><br /><br /><li>pirouette cookies</li><br /><br /><li>crushed peppermint candies</li><br /><br /><li>peppermint, caramel, vanilla, and raspberry syrup</li><br /><br /><li>shakers of cinnamon and chili pepper</li><br /><br /><li>some way to incorporate maple (ideas? Leave a comment!)</li></ul><br /><br /><p>That would mean I would need two BIG bowls (whipped cream, marshmallows) with ladles, two smaller bowls (sprinkles, crushed peppermint), shakers for the cinnamon and chili pepper, and a jar for the cookies.</p><br /><br /><p>Now to figure out the logistics of mugs and hot chocolate urns ... I am worried about finding a way to serve 100 people's worth of hot chocolate without it separating or getting cold. Or spilling any on my dress (yes, I'm that girl).<br /><br />Comments? Questions? Leave a comment!</p></div></div>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-50398254412538591212012-01-06T05:47:00.000-08:002012-01-06T08:06:00.801-08:00Decisions: The FoodOh, my god, the food. *cries softly*<br /><br />Way back when, I heard a family friend talk about her daughter doing a potluck wedding reception. It sounded fabulous to me - I mean, potluck meals are awesome. Everyone brings something that they make really well, people eat buffet style and sit around and chat, and everything is just wonderful and happy. It's a kind of a large-family-brunch-across-a-lazy-morning vibe, and to me, that just sounds perfect for a wedding. (Well, that and dancing.)<br /><br />However, it turns out that potluck wedding receptions are an issue about which people have strong opinions. Either they'll say, "Oh, my god, that sounds fabulous," or they launch into an explanation of how rude it is, how I'll end up with 85 pies and one loaf of bread, how I absolutely must not tell people what to bring, and how everyone will die of dysentery while fording the river (okay, they actually said, "food poisoning" ... ). Even one of my best friends, with whom I am usually in accord, was not in favor of the idea - "I'm not sure you understand how much work you're giving someone to organize this."<br /><br />I know this must be possible, and I have emails out to various people at the moment. In the meantime, I'm going to be looking at other options, and it turns out we should be able to do this in a fairly reasonable way, even looking at upscale food:<br /><br /><br /><ul><br /><li>A well-known local Italian caterer can provide pasta dishes for about $6 per person ($36-$45 for 6-8 servings, looking across dishes and serving sizes) and salad for about $2.90 per person, coming out to $880 in total. Another option is their soup buffet - I could overshoot 100 and still end up with soup, salad, and bread for $620. Not bad!</li><br /><li>A local luxury grocer has a gallon of soup (10 servings) for $55.99, and salads at about $3.00 per person. This would end up at around $900, NOT including bread.</li></ul><br /><p>And what occurs to me is that we could do a hybrid approach: </p><br /><ul><br /><li>potluck desserts (or ask a few choice friends to make cakes, pies, etc.)</li><br /><li>soup buffet for 60: $68.99x4=275.96 (or a more generous estimate would put us at $344.95)</li><br /><li>40 servings of quiche, say 10 pie-sized quiches: I estimate a cost of $6 per quiche, putting us at $60.</li><br /><li>Total: $404.95 (leaving a good amount of room to negotiate upwards on soup, salad, and bread)</li></ul><br /><p>I have to say that the hybrid approach sounds the least stressful - I don't have to worry about making some odd combination of food (to compensate for what might or might not be brought at a potluck), I can crowdsource very specific things (cake), and quiches are about the easiest thing in the world to make. Further, I will not be stressing about having dropped $1000+ on food <em>before adding in beverages</em>.</p><br /><p>Sound off! Tell me what you think of potluck wedding receptions! Did you have a formal sit-down dinner? Did you do something less "traditional"? Tell!</p>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-87983877263982629942011-12-30T16:15:00.000-08:002012-01-05T07:18:49.667-08:00Budgeting: The DressSo, a budgetary set-back right at the start, but a counter-balanced budgetary win!<br /><br />I'm going to start with the set-back, because this IS a blog, and I want people to know how my fiance and I worked through things (real-time). So, the groom's attire - that's worth putting in here at the start.<br /><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Groom's Attire - Warnings and Helpful Tips</span><br /></div><br />It turns out that <span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">my fiance's dress blues are going to cost approximately $700</span> when all is said and done. Oh, dear. Now, I realize that we'll need to get these whether or not there's a wedding, so maybe it's not an expense I factor entirely in (say, $350? Is that cheating?), but still, when all is said and done, it's money we're spending. So take note, women (and men) in military weddings!<br /><br />For those of you NOT in a military wedding, a piece of advice:<br /><br /><br /><ul><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Instead of renting a tuxedo, try buying one used</span>. Chances are, a used tux will, first of all, be <span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">cheaper</span>, and will, second, <span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">fit better</span>. Cheaper <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">and</span> classier, what could be better?</li></ul><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">The Dress - My Story</span><br /></div><br />Now, on to the dress. I had honestly hoped to come out of this with a dress under $500. I saw prices online, I looked at David's Bridal and other such stores, and I looked at consignment bridal shops.<br /><br />After my first run through, I came out with a front-runner - a $700 dress. Yes, that was consignment. And I would have to have the dress altered. And then pressed and cleaned. And then shipped. And then probably cleaned again. I was now running about $1000 on the dress, <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">double</span> my budget, and with the aforementioned $700 dress blues showing up to the party as well. I had no idea what to do.<br /><br /><br /><div align="center">In my case, the pain passed relatively quickly - I simply decided that no dress was worth $1000 to me. With that in the forefront of my mind, I started looking again and found an amazing dress for $450, very well-made, new, and something that I can hopefully dye and use again later!<br /><br /><strong>The Dress - Cautionary Words</strong></div><br /><p>For what it's worth, here is my advice: beware of <em>reference points</em>. It's a principle of economics, but it's very applicable to non-academic spheres of life, and you've probably already noticed it. Here's how it works: you see an item, and a price, and you measure every similar product against that one, and this can work either for you or against you.</p><br /><p>How, you ask? Well, if you wander into a store and look at the clearance rack, seeing rows of $150 dresses, and then the saleswoman shows you a $4000 dress, you're likely to feel that one in your gut when you look at the price tag. But if the first dresses you see are $4000, and then you look at $2000 dresses, you may end up feeling like $2000 is a relative steal, even if you had sworn you wouldn't spend more than $800 on your dress.</p><br /><p>"Oh, god, how do I avoid this?" Pretty simple. First, look only at dresses in your price range, and make very sure that the first few you look at are all in the same price range. Second, before you buy anything, go home and take a day to consider it. It's easy to get swept up in things! Take the time to clear your head, and make the decision when you're <em>not</em> surrounded by sparkly ballgowns.</p><br /><p align="center"><strong>Some Other Advice (Not All Budget-Related):</strong></p><br /><div align="center"><br /></div><br /><ul><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Set your dress budget first!</span> Before anything else, set your dress budget. This may be a range. Think (and talk to your fiance) about what will happen if you absolutely, positively fall in love with a dress that's out of your budget. </li><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Shop Consignment Before Boutique</span> - search for well-reviewed consignment shops in your area. These shops have dresses that may be used, sample, bought-but-never-worn, or liquidation from other stores. A good consignment shop will be picky about what they take, and will have had the dresses cleaned; they will also probably have their own alterations staff. </li><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Take Suggestions</span> - at the first shop I went to, the saleswoman picked out a few dresses for me to try on, and one was the quintessential "princess dress," ballgown skirt, embellished bodice, and all. I had really not wanted this type of dress, but I tried it on and I have to say it looked <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">good</span>. Did I go with it? No. But you may look absolutely stunning in something you thought you could never pull off. Knowing that the final decision will be yours, let people suggest things - you may be pleasantly surprised by the results.</li><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Consider the Cost (and Effect) of Alterations</span> - almost any dress you try will need to be altered. Consider this at the start, and factor it into your budget. Ask the saleswoman what type of alterations she thinks you would need, and ask for a rough estimate of cost for those alterations. Most of mine were in the $100 range. Also consider the effect of these changes: I will be adding a sash, bustle, and seam tuck to my dress - it will look different in silhouette and effect than the dress I tried on. </li><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Sleep on It </span>- if your dress isn't a one-of-a-kind (or if you think you can live without it; more on that below), go home and consider it. Ask if you can take a picture. Think about the cost, think about what it means to you. Whether or not it's in your budget range, it's a big purchase. Chances are, it will still be there tomorrow and you will have a clearer head.</li><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Consider That You Might Not Find "The Dress"</span> - my friends told me that I would find the perfect dress and burst into tears and instantly know it was The One. Let me share my feelings on this, and as with all advice, know that you don't have to take it! <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">You might not find that dress</span>. Or you might, but you might not be the type to get emotional over a piece of clothing. Or you might be so stressed you can't think straight. But, honestly? There are many dresses that will look wonderful on you. You will be glowing with joy on your wedding day, and you will look beautiful! It may be worth it to you to say, "This dress looks wonderful on me. There may be one out there that looks better, but it's worth it to me to know I have the dress and I don't have to worry about it anymore." (And yes. I did get a bit teary-eyed right before I decided on my dress. I didn't see that coming.)</li><br /><li><strong>Also, are you sure you want a white dress?</strong> Consider other options! You are in no way obligated to wear white, or even a dress at all!</li><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Look In Unexpected (High End) Places</span> - after all that budget hunting, I found my dress at Nordstrom's. Did they have expensive dresses? They sure did. But I picked dresses at random from the racks and ended up with 5 under $500 and one over $1000. The dresses were well-made, of better fabrics than I saw at boutiques, and Nordstrom's arranged to find one of the only THREE in the U.S. in my size, and then have it shipped to me at no cost. How amazing is that?</li></ul>You will see other lists exhorting you to try vintage stores, bridesmaid gowns, etc - listen to these, too! Remember to be patient - it is highly unlikely that only ONE dress will look beautiful on you, and, as my mother reminded me, "you could wear torn jeans and a sweatshirt and your fiance would be starry-eyed."<br /><br />In short? Pick something that makes you feel beautiful <em>and won't fill you with guilt</em>. "Guilt-ridden" is not the optimal wedding emotion!PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-41295869511556432722011-12-20T09:07:00.001-08:002012-01-05T07:57:23.027-08:00Reducing Cost: Hair and MakeupI'll be the first to admit that I am blessed in my highly-creative friends and family. Almost all of them write, or sing, or do graphic design of some sort. Your friends may not care at all for crafty pursuits, but I strongly encourage you to ask around - some of them may be hiding a passion for doing makeup, hair, or manicures!<br /><br />My amazingly creative, talented maid of honor (hereafter known as "C") had been hiding just such a passion. (Well, not "hiding," per se - but when does that come up in conversation? Yet another reason to ask around!) We've started trial runs of hair and makeup for the wedding and, in addition to having something wonderful to squee over, we're having a lovely time chatting and hanging out together. What could be better?<br /><br />So, maybe you've always dreamed that your wedding would be the day you could hire a professional makeup artist and look red-carpet worthy, but before you splurge, at least take time to consider the talent among your group of friends or acquaintances, and know that you may end up looking just as wonderful!<br /><br />Consider: <strong>your friends are likely to know what kind of makeup you wear, how you like to present yourself, and they will also know your face well. </strong>Over time, your friends have seen you on your good days and your bad days, and they may have a good idea of what makeup to use to help you feel your best on your wedding day.<br /><br />Do you need to cut your professional hair-and-makeup artist? No, of course not. But if you're looking for areas to cut, this is definitely one to consider. The internet is full of tutorials, and your friends are full of talent!PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-24504925741585400872011-12-15T12:39:00.000-08:002012-01-11T08:31:45.515-08:00Inexpensive Wedding + ? = Gorgeous Reception<strong>NOTE:</strong> I wrote this a while back, when I thought my wedding was going to be in the winter. The exact details have changed, but I wanted to post this anyway for an insight into the planning process. And I reiterate: don't let anyone tell you that you absolutely need someone to design your centerpieces for you. That's hooey. If you want to design them, go for it!<br /><br />I admit it: I want a gorgeous reception. I really mean <em>gorgeous</em>. I mean "everyone walks into the room and goes, 'Ohhhhhh....'" - <em>that</em> kind of gorgeous.<br /><br />Except, wait - I want an inexpensive wedding. Oh, dear.<br /><br />But I will admit that, from the get-go, my attitude has been, "I get to <em>make</em> things!" I love making things! I love designing things, and creating things, and crafting things (there's something very relaxing and satisfying about making something with one's hands). And I've looked at several very classy, very elegant wedding centerpieces and gone, "<em>I</em> could do that."<br /><br />So, let's look at a (hopefully) gorgeous table design that I can make fairly easily and inexpensively, and how that can be done. We assume 25 tables, oblong.<br /><br />The look I want to evoke is the softness of falling snow, with gently-glowing light, and an edge - just a touch - of the sharp-and-still coldness of a midwinter night.<br /><br />How to go about it?<br /><br /><br /><br /><ul><br /><li>First, <strong>the white of the snow</strong> - white tablecloths with a layer of white gauze/tulle and piled tulle along the center of the table (snowdrift)</li><br /><br /><br /><li>Second, <strong>soft-and-glowing</strong> - white paper lanterns at the center of the table, nestled into the "snowdrift," and two clusters of frosted-glass votive holders to either side, also nestled into the tulle</li><br /><br /><br /><li>Third, <strong>sharp-and-still coldness</strong> - what comes to mind when I think of this is a deep midwinter night, sky like blue velvet, a few stars flickering, the black of bare branches and the red of winterberries, all above glittering snow. Well, the snow we've taken care of. But I think accents such as cut-crystal votive holders and wreaths of hollyberries would really add the sharp aspect of winter.<br /></li></ul><br /><p>And ... how much would this cost?</p><br /><p>For the first item: white tablecloths, white tulle. Unfortunately it looks like the tablecloths will be around $10 apiece at best (this is from a buy vs. rent search in my area). A google search shows tulle at $40 for 50 yards. Say 3 bolts. So:<br /><br /></p><br /><ul><br /><li>10x25 + 3x40 = $370<br /></li></ul><br /><p>For the second item, we're on better ground. You can get an assortment of votive holders at any Goodwill, and combing one through gave me 12, averaging $0.75 apiece. If we assume clusters of 3-4, so 7 per table, we'll need 175, which gives us $132.25. Frosting spray is about $15. Paper lanterns can be bought for about $1 apiece, so $25.<br /><br /></p><br /><ul><br /><li>.75(175) + 15 + 1(25) = 172.25<br /><br /></li></ul><br /><p>For the third item, well ... Clear votive holders are fine (see above - we can just NOT frost some of them and mix those in, so there's no extra cost), but winterberry wreaths may be difficult. I found 16" sprigs of faux winterberries online for $3.75 apiece, though, and I'm betting that I'll be able to work those in, maybe in amongst the tulle snowdrift or in one of the clear votive holders. Say one per 5 tables, in that case, and thus:<br /><br /></p><br /><ul><br /><li>3.75(5) = 18.75</li></ul><br /><br /><br /><p>What does it all come to?<br /><br /></p><br /><ul><br /><li>370+172.25+18.75 = $561</li></ul><br /><p>Clearly, there's some planning still to go! But we'll work on that. Nothing is set in stone yet!</p><br /><p>Thoughts? Objections? Advice? Leave a comment!</p>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-25913902318450893652011-12-13T17:36:00.000-08:002011-12-13T18:28:58.919-08:00Reducing Cost - Wedding Date (and Day)The most popular months for weddings are May through October. It makes sense, it absolutely does - those months span what tend to be the clearest, most beautiful weather of the year. But what if you didn't have to get married then?<br /><br />"Wait!" I hear you cry. "This isn't feasible for me! I live in Alaska/North Dakota/Maine! It gets really cold and snowy, you have no idea!" I really do sympathize. I grew up in rural New England and I now live in the midwest, so I am no stranger to unpredictable weather. I'd like to encourage you to consider, however, November or April, or keep your eyes peeled for a bargain date in late October or early May.<br /><br />Some things to consider:<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />How much do you really care about getting married outside?</span> Really, honestly. Ponder it for a moment. Picture it in your head. If you are firmly wedded (...er) to being married outside with the wind in your hair and the sun shining down, this whole November-April thing may not be your cup of tea. But if you've been wavering between outside and another setting, read on ...<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />This would be a real chance to stand out!</span> Honestly. How many weddings have you seen that have a beach/summer/wildflowers/pastel colors theme to them? Those are lovely, of course. But imagine how striking a fall or winter wedding could be, working with rich, warm colors, and evoking the natural drama of winter weather. I've included some eye-candy from photos of a <a href="http://winter.weddings.com/articles/minnesota-winter-wedding.aspx">Minnesota winter wedding</a> to drive this point home:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://scmedia.theknot.com/%7E/media/D945ADE020AD4462BA5F1773E49BC925.ashx"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 290px; height: 435px;" src="http://scmedia.theknot.com/%7E/media/D945ADE020AD4462BA5F1773E49BC925.ashx" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></span></span><span><span>You could go elegant, snow-themed and glowing...gourds and leaves, cornucopias...you could evoke the first signs of spring, tulips and crocuses! The possibilities are endless!<br /><br />Last, but not least, for those of you who are reading this for the frugality, I present <span style="font-weight: bold;">the numbers</span>:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span><span><span>In <a href="http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/LoveAndMoney/save-big-with-a-winter-wedding.aspx">this article from MSN</a>, a few key pieces of information can be extracted:<br /></span></span><ul><li>only 5% of the weddings in the U.S. take place in January</li><li><span><span>fixed costs per guest at banquet facilities can drop 20-50% between January and March</span></span></li><li><span><span>Example: the Meeting House Grand Ballroom in Plymouth, Mich. has a $2300 discount (for a 200-guest wedding) between January and March, $2000 from the switch to "Friday prices" and $300 from the ceremony fee <br /></span></span></li></ul><span><span><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/recession/4862815/Winter-wedding-boom-as-recession-hits-engaged-couples.html">This article in the Telegraph</a> shows that saving money with a winter wedding is not just an American thing:<br /></span></span><ul><li>Couples can save up to 50% - I don't know where they got this figure, so it makes me twitchy, but I'll quote it anyway!</li><li>Beware Christmas weddings! No, not Christmas-themed weddings - weddings right around Christmas! Their expert notes that this can drive the price right back up. Also, consider that many churches may have decorations up in the sanctuary or fellowship halls, and altering them could raise the cost!<br /></li></ul>Last but not least, <span style="font-weight: bold;">think about getting married during the week</span>. The rates you see listed on websites are usually Saturday evening rates. If you have the vacation time, consider the middle of the week! If you want to stick close to the weekend, consider a Monday or Thursday wedding - as you saw above, switching even from a Saturday to a Friday rate can save $2000!<br /><br />Thoughts? Comments? Questions?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767611353867208453.post-69933060083946917642011-12-13T11:00:00.000-08:002011-12-13T12:16:11.850-08:00IntroductionWelcome to A Simply Elegant Wedding!<br /><br /><strong>I am a 20-something in the midwest, looking to plan a wedding that is beautiful and elegant, but does not go much over $5000. </strong><br /><br />Impossible, you say? Yes, even a brief time spent poring over webpages and sample budgets will tell you that weddings are regularly much, much more. In fact, there was lovely chart published recently about the cost of weddings in the United States (included at the bottom of this entry). First of all, the numbers made my blood run cold. Second of all, consider this quote from Carly Roney, who is editor in chief of The Knot Inc:<br /><br /><em>"Brides remain committed to planning a luxurious, memorable event and are willing to spend despite the state of the economy." </em><br /><br />I could go on (and on, and on) about how I feel about the cost of weddings. But I won't, because it's probable that very few of you reading this blog are here for a discussion of economics, sociology, and psychology. You're probably here for the DIY and budget-y goodness. (And if you are here for the academic discussion, well, leave a comment and we can start an email chain!)<br /><br />So! Wedding Budget: $5000. How much can I save by making things on my own? What can I make on my own? How can I save on venue, decorations, food? What about dresses? Flowers? Each entry will contain as much cost detail as I can find, to help you estimate how much I'm saving and how much I'm spending.<br /><br />Let the games begin!<br />Oh, and because I promised this:<br /><br /><a href="http://blogs.dexknows.com/weddings/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/wedding_infographic-e1306264717167.png"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 600px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 1553px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://blogs.dexknows.com/weddings/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/wedding_infographic-e1306264717167.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div>PAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02402841847588674071noreply@blogger.com4